The Day I Talk About Somebody

My PW group members just left. I feel so lost. And confused. It's been an age since I felt this. It's not like I've being evil my whole life, or like I've been doing the wrong things. Sometimes, secrets can kill you, y'know?

My mum's being a bitch about my results. Ok, so it's my fault. But I tried. I did study very hard. She doesn't seem to get it though. It's always my fault. Fine. Blame me.
My dad, well, he's also being a bitch. I'm trying my best to give you guys nice results to see, but you all insist that it's the end of the world, y'know? It's only the fucking promos, for God's sakes.

It's times like this I really really hate myself.
I want to escape from this life of mine and have another one. One where I at least have siblings who my parents can fuss on. I'm old enough, and I hope they can understand that the tighter they hold me, the faster I suffocate.

I'm blabbering again.

Everytime you look at me,
You don't see me.
Everytime you talk to me,
You don't hear me.
Everytime you smile at me,
You're smiling not because I'm there.
Everytime you leave me,
You leave me lost.

Do I believe?

I don't know.