Sunday, August 28, 2005

The Day I Talk About My Life Thus Far

Time for an evaluation of my life so far this year.

There have been many ups and downs (like who's life doesn't, right?). I thought I've escaped the dreadful sniping by the "Justin Jap Hate-Club: Let's HATE Him Together cos he's so fucking gaaay and we're all a bunch of testesterone-filled homophobic MCP's with EQ's the size our tits and IQ's the depth of our rectums!!! Boo him! Boo him!Yay!"

But NO... They had to find a way to ruin my already miserable life by tagging some useless and senseless BS on my tag-board. Oh well... "Like, whatever." (quote: Jon Jonsson. Jonssen. Jonson. Hiya, I dunno how to spell. Stupid ang mohs.) *rolls-eyes*

I've almost completely lost touch with my 1st-3-months MI clique-mates, but I hope to see them again (hopefully after promos and PW). Talking about PW, that bloody subject is driving me up the wall. My group is practically not doing anything about it. I'm now typing the Written Report draft (with what little information I've gathered on my own. *sigh*) and hoping Ms Tang won't kill us tomorrow. But I'm not very hopeful.

Just watched the Project Superstar (Girls) reunion special repeat telecast this afternoon. I have never seen such outrageously hypocritical people gathering together, bunching and giggling as one on national TV before. I mean, if you really hate each other, stop pretending you're friends! Then again, they're under a Mediacorp contract for the show. The industry is soooo dark and dirty. And did I mention the garishly dressed, hopelessly tone-deaf and terribly off-tempo eliminated contestants returning on that show to bring us grief yet again on national tv? *shivers*

On the relationship front, I'm still single and available. If only the right ONE could come along and knock on my door... Then again, girls are high maintanence. And with my current income level, I can't afford a high maintanence girlfriend. No offence to my girlfriends but hey, it's a fact. Don't tell me you don't want your boyfriends to pay for everything. :P
No, seriously, I can't afford one. I'm not that rich (which is a misconception of many who assume that only-child's get all the bling-bling they want.) Unless of course, there is that sopecial someone who understands my current predicament... Hmmm...

I need to get my mind off comics as well. They're really distracting me as I do my work. Maybe someone should borrow all of them and return it to me after my exams. Then maybe I'll start being more productive in doing my work.

I got a Teachers' Day present from one of my kids in church today. My very first Teachers' Day prezzie! So happy... Haha...

Ah. It feels good to bitch about my miserable life again.
Anyway, gotta get back to PW.

So today, I end with a quote from an anonymous person (at least this unknown person says something constructive. Heh.)

Quote of the Day: A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

The Day I Talk About Sex

Sex is good. Just keep the gory details to yourself.
I don't wanna know what you do.

Monday, August 22, 2005

The Day I Talk About...

I may seem like a perfectionist, doing everything that I have to, to put it in Singaporean terms, being "extra", but I have my reasons. If you should think that I do what I do because I want to be a teachers pet, to be the centre of attraction, and all the yada-yada, then I guess you've got the wrong idea.

I don't have to show people that I am capable, but I do something so that I'll have a peace of mind, knowing that I've done what I'm supposed to do, and I won't feel like I've been irresponsible. But if you like to see it in a negative light, I can't stop you.

I'm here for all to see.

You can judge me, you can have your prejudices, you can put me down, you can love me, you can hate me, you can appreciate me, you can despise me. Blah blah blah.
The bottom-line is: Don't think you know everything about me just because you know who I am.

To the anonymous taggers of my tag-board:
If you really think it's fun to tag my board and do all the talk about me and gays and all the bullshit talk about HIV and whatnot, get a fucking life.

You think it's funny? You're just a cowardly loser who doesn't dare to reveal your identity cos you're fucking scared of me.

I agree, I may be effeminate sometimes, but being effeminate doesn't constitute to being gay. However, being homophobic just shows your immaturity and lack of tolerance for people who are different.

You have something against me, bring it on. If you don't have the guts to do it and say the stuff you say about me in my face, then please, just fuck off.

Friday, August 19, 2005

The Day I Tell What I Feel

Sometimes, being nice ain't neccesarily the right thing to do.

I've tried to talk to you, asked you nicely why you wanna work. You say "For money." Then I try to tell you nicely that "it's really hard to cope with both work and JC life, and unless you really cannot get by, like if your parents aren't able to support you, then you work." You take it negatively, and remain stubborn, standing firm on your ground. I don't continue to talk about you working anymore.

I'd like you to know that it was out of concern that I asked you to stop working. As a friend, I think it is only right that I should respond when I fell you need a jolt back to reality. If not, why would I even bother? But if you insist on doing so, I have no power to persuade you otherwise. It's saddening to see you so tired on Mondays, even though you work only Fridays and Saturdays. Mind you, 8 hours straight is alot of work. But your tiredness has had an adverse effect on our project work group, with you being listless and weary during our Monday discussions.

I'm a frank guy, and I don't want to beat around the bush. I am really unhappy with your attitude and behaviour. If you think our classmates (with the exception of your close friends) are against you for no reason, you are wrong. We may not show it, but I hope you have at least a little bit of empathy to feel at least what we're feeling.

You say "Justin, can you blanja me lunch?", "Justin, can you buy me a drink?" etc, I don't really mind if it's just once or twice. But I feel that you've been taking this for granted. I am not an ATM machine. Yes, I am an only child, but that does not mean that I have inextinguishable pocket-money. Ask yourself, have you only asked me such questions, or have you asked others as well?

Money-wise, if you're afraid to offend your parents by asking for more, do you think your friends will not be offended if you ask them for money? Have some self-respect, be more empathic, think before you speak.

Yes, being frank and straight-forward is good, but being un-tactful is not. The ability to differentiate one from the other shows your maturity level.

I understand your predicament, but I do not understand why you have to do what you do. Please keep in mind that what I have just said above was with no intention of putting you down, but it was done in the hope that if you're seeing this, you can change. If you still feel like you're being ganged-up against after reading this, I suggest that you do some self reflection.

I'll be praying for you.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

The Day I Talk About My Life So Far...

Faye has left Singapore over the weekend to the US. Bryna, Andrew and I had a little farewell dinner for her on Saturday evening. It was fun, but I did fell a little sad.

Cos she's leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when she'll be back again...

I hope that she comes back soon.

School has become increasingly frustrating, as the work-load piles up and the promos getting closer and closer. It feels like I've been run over by a 16-wheeler, so crushed and so out of breath. But I've not been pushing myself very hard at all. I guess it's because my incessantly nagging mother, who yaks about my schoolwork all the time. Well, I think it's about time I embrace the pressure and start pressing myself.

My past 5 months in NYJC has been nothing short of amazing.
I'm so glad and blessed to have my classmates, without which I don't think I would have been able to survive. It has been the greatest school-year of my life thus far, although there have been ups and downs (mostly due to my unpredictable and annoying mood-swings). I've never had a class where everybody is so united and helpful.

I was most touched when my classmates made banners for me (and Marcus) during The One. No-one has ever made banners for me. Ever. It really showed how much they cared and how much effort they'd spend for their friends. I've never felt so loved...
I love you guys! (If any of you are even reading this. Heh...)

I'm still confused over certain matters but I guess I'll sort it out soon.

Quote of the Day: Eat or be eaten; Kill or be killed; Fuck or be fucked; It's all the same.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

The Day I Talk About Shaun

My school buddy:
He's tall, strikingly good-looking and dark. Tall because he's taller than me (but not by much), good looking cause he's got well defined features (it's true), dark because, well, he's Indian (pronounced yeen-dee-en). Heh...

He's funny sometimes, but most of the time, he tries too hard and it becomes really annoying. He has blond-moments almost every other day, but who doesn't right? He's Indian, but he thinks he's African-American. He teaches me "black" slangs once in awhile and I must say, it's pretty enriching.

He gets on my nerves, and he knows exactly what to do to piss me of. Or at least he tries to. But I know he means no harm. He brings me laughter when I'm down, hope when I despair. For 5 months, it seems like we've known each other for an age.

His name is Shaun.
He's my buddy and I love him very muchly (even though he's got so many flaws).

TO Shaun: If you're reading this, thanks for everything. You're a great friend to have...