My PW group members just left. I feel so lost. And confused. It's been an age since I felt this. It's not like I've being evil my whole life, or like I've been doing the wrong things. Sometimes, secrets can kill you, y'know?
My mum's being a bitch about my results. Ok, so it's my fault. But I tried. I did study very hard. She doesn't seem to get it though. It's always my fault. Fine. Blame me.
My dad, well, he's also being a bitch. I'm trying my best to give you guys nice results to see, but you all insist that it's the end of the world, y'know? It's only the fucking promos, for God's sakes.
It's times like this I really really hate myself.
I want to escape from this life of mine and have another one. One where I at least have siblings who my parents can fuss on. I'm old enough, and I hope they can understand that the tighter they hold me, the faster I suffocate.
I'm blabbering again.
Everytime you look at me,
You don't see me.
Everytime you talk to me,
You don't hear me.
Everytime you smile at me,
You're smiling not because I'm there.
Everytime you leave me,
You leave me lost.
Do I believe?
I don't know.
Monday, October 31, 2005
The Day I Went Out With Kenny
Spent the day with Kenny at Orchard and had a good time. We had lunch at Cine, where I bumped into a few of my ex-CHS schoolmates (the friendly ones). After that, the two of us met up with Rapheal and a couple of his CJ friends. Then at bout 3, Kenny and I went to K-Box and had a rip-roaring good time blasting our lungs out.
Had hokkien mee at the Wisma food court again. Super dee duper good.
Just got home. I feel weird around my parents. Maybe it's cos they're still pissed at me for getting poor results, I dunno. *sigh* It sucks when I'm the only child la. Oh well...
Had hokkien mee at the Wisma food court again. Super dee duper good.
Just got home. I feel weird around my parents. Maybe it's cos they're still pissed at me for getting poor results, I dunno. *sigh* It sucks when I'm the only child la. Oh well...
Sunday, October 30, 2005
The Day I Talk About My Results Slip
It's officially C-O-O now. No more D-O-O. Well, at least it's an improvement. Got the results slip back on Friday and felt pretty sad. Thank God for my classmates. I dunno what I'd do without them...
After hanging out with Sean, Tam, Kia Puay, Kitson, Mervy, Joon Yee, Brenda, Esther and Yuxi for lunch, I went to Orchard to meet Kenny. It was a brief meeting, but he made me feel better.
Yesterday was pretty much a boring day. Nothing to write about.
The Yet Un-Named Story, Chapter 6
It was Friday night, family dinner night. Tessa had prepared the dishes when her dad got home from work. The man was always busy with his work, and Friday nights were the only time of the week they could actually have dinner together.Tessa's mum had passed away from cancer when she was at the tender age of five, leaving her to be brought up by her father. He chose not to re-marry, much to Tessa's delight; She didn't know if she could handle a step-parent.
"How was your day dear?" her father asked. "It went pretty ok. I wish school would start soon though. Holidays are such a bore." Tessa scooped a spoonful of rice and fish and put it in her mouth. Mmmm... The fish tasted good today. "Why don't you go get a job? You know, take your mind off the boredom and at the same time earn some pocket money of your own."
"I dunno. Maybe I will." She smiled, picking some vegetables for her father. It was always so enjoyable to have dinner with daddy. Every time she looked her father in the eyes, she would feel an incredible sense of gratitude for him. He had been the one looking out for her, taking care of her all these years since mummy passed away. Moreover, he was her only relative.
After dinner, Tessa did the dishes while her dad went for a shower and went back to her room. Her mind was still racing from the day's events. Should she call him or not? She sat on her bed, looking at the slip of paper with the number written on it. After much deliberation, she picked up her phone, and dialled.
After hanging out with Sean, Tam, Kia Puay, Kitson, Mervy, Joon Yee, Brenda, Esther and Yuxi for lunch, I went to Orchard to meet Kenny. It was a brief meeting, but he made me feel better.
Yesterday was pretty much a boring day. Nothing to write about.
The Yet Un-Named Story, Chapter 6
It was Friday night, family dinner night. Tessa had prepared the dishes when her dad got home from work. The man was always busy with his work, and Friday nights were the only time of the week they could actually have dinner together.Tessa's mum had passed away from cancer when she was at the tender age of five, leaving her to be brought up by her father. He chose not to re-marry, much to Tessa's delight; She didn't know if she could handle a step-parent.
"How was your day dear?" her father asked. "It went pretty ok. I wish school would start soon though. Holidays are such a bore." Tessa scooped a spoonful of rice and fish and put it in her mouth. Mmmm... The fish tasted good today. "Why don't you go get a job? You know, take your mind off the boredom and at the same time earn some pocket money of your own."
"I dunno. Maybe I will." She smiled, picking some vegetables for her father. It was always so enjoyable to have dinner with daddy. Every time she looked her father in the eyes, she would feel an incredible sense of gratitude for him. He had been the one looking out for her, taking care of her all these years since mummy passed away. Moreover, he was her only relative.
After dinner, Tessa did the dishes while her dad went for a shower and went back to her room. Her mind was still racing from the day's events. Should she call him or not? She sat on her bed, looking at the slip of paper with the number written on it. After much deliberation, she picked up her phone, and dialled.