Friday, May 26, 2006

The Day I Talk About Bitching, Mood-Swings & Hypocrisy

I'm bitchy and I know it. As a matter of fact, most of us are (with the exception of the few, rare angels we meet through the course of our lives. The keyword is "rare").

Don't say you aren't, cos when you talk bad about someone when they're not around (or when you think they're not around), you're bitching. Or when you indiscriminately slam them in their faces in outright confrontation, you're bitching. The only difference is how bitchy we are.

I know that I'm really temperamental sometimes and that I have mood swings; It's genetic and I'm guilty of it. So sue me. If I've hurt any of you (who are reading this), I'm truly sorry. I know how horrible it is to get bull from people when you don't do anything wrong and I will learn to control it. It's been scientifically proven that when one hits 16 and beyond, it's very difficult to change his/her personality; They say that "it's difficult", but they don't say that it's "impossible". Give me time, I'm trying.

Just recently, I find out that I've been labelled a a hypocrite by some people. You know how much I hate hypocrites, and now I'm called one? Great news huh. Well, here's the deal: I don't smile at people and say hi and laugh while I secretly hate them. Cos I don't hate. I can't. I may dislike somebody but not to the extent of hate and even then, I don't "pretend" to be jovial cos I'm a hypocrite. You see, hypocrites don't have a conscience. They can say one thing in your face and another when you're not around. And they sure as hell don't feel guilt. But I do. Guilt is a nasty nasty feeling. It's just that it's easier to avoid awkwardness by showing some friendliness and hey, a smile brightens up everybody's day. I admit that I'm not the worlds' best Catholic, but I make an effort to "love thy neighbour" as much as I can.

As for the many hypocrites I meet (if you think you are hypocritical in front of me), I just wanna say, if you don't like anything about me, feel free to just tell me. I'd rather know that you hate me and live with it, than find out from other people that you hate me when I always thought you were my friend. It just hurts alot when that happens.

Being a nice guy isn't easy. It's just that Mother Theresa (or should I call her Saint Theresa now?) made it seem like it's so easy. I'd sooner embrace my devilish nature and temptations than become a saint, cos being good takes so much more effort and strength than being bad.

And lastly, I believe in karma. You should too, cos what comes around goes around. Just take a look at the news everyday and observe things that happen to the people around you. One way or another, you'll get what you deserve at the end of the day. So just try to be nice and maybe life won't be so bad to you in the end.

I'm trying.

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